well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
