He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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