why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
