I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The dick lei will go down in squad history
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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