Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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