is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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