operation harelip BJ is a go
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
