so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
