i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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