Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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