i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Of course I have a pirate flag
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
