I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
