Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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