he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize