im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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