I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Couch. On fire.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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