dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
