I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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