you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
