You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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