thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
