I've blown a few things in my day
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
