Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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