Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
