My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
