Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
