I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
