no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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