Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
