what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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