just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
