Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
