Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize