i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
