she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
did i just pee glitter
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
