I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
