I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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