Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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