Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
