im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
MIDGETS
????
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
