Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
