Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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