Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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