I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
