Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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