I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Operation Purity has been aborted
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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