Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
