I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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