I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I met the friendliest cop last night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
