My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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