I wanna bring you to show and tell
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
