I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
