there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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