I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
