I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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