you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
