I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
