I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
