To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
