It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
