i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Less talking, more tequila
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
