She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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