is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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